


Peter Nureyev and the Ghost of Brahma

by breathingfire



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: (its mag), Canonical Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Other, when survival instincts get in the way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 11:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13739796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingfire/pseuds/breathingfire
Summary: Peter wakes from a nightmare.Somehow, everything gets worse from there.





	Peter Nureyev and the Ghost of Brahma

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to insterstellarvagabond for putting up w me

Peter Nureyev was standing in room filled with red light, clutching a knife. He knew this room.

He dropped the knife. There was blood on his hands, drenching them. It began crawling up his arms, made his skin itch.

_ Why did you kill me, Peter? _ The voice seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere. It echoed in Peter's mind.

“Because you were going to kill all of New Kinshasa and whoever happened to be under them!” He screamed. The blood reached his shoulders.

_ And yet, _ Mag’s voice pounded through his skull,  _ you have done nothing but kill since you left me here, Peter. You left Brahma to be hunted by the Guardian Angel System. You leave a trail of bodies in your wake. How is that better? _

“I… I…” The blood drenched his whole body, now, was crawling up his neck.

_ I loved you, Peter, _ Mag continued, unrelenting,  _ more than anyone else. And yet, here I am. How long until you do the same to Juno Steel? _

“J-Juno?” In the back of his mind, he knew Juno didn't belong here. “I-I would never hurt Juno!” The blood filled his mouth, nose, eyes.

_ It's only a matter of time, Peter. You know that. _

Peter gasped, air filling his lungs. He was being gripped, tight, shaken. Before Peter could think, his body threw itself at his assailant, pinning them, hands flying to their neck.

“P-Peter,” the body below him croaked out. It wasn't Mag’s voice.

He wasn't wearing his glasses, but this close, it didn't matter.

He was hurting Juno.

He was  _ killing _ Juno.

He had just enough time to have that thought before he was being thrown off. He flew off the side of the bed and onto the floor, his head hitting the floor hard enough to make the world tilt.

The air was still for a few moments, giving Peter time to process what the hell happened.

He was at Juno's apartment. That much was obvious, even if it was blurry. He could stretch out his arms and touch both walls of the bedroom. Not to mention the clothes strewn across the floor. 

Last night - or, a few hours ago at least - had been fine. Great even. He'd just gotten back from a heist, and celebrated with Juno in their usual style, before taking a shower and heading to bed.

Juno stared down at him wide eyed from the bed, hand lightly covering his windpipe. Where Peter's hands had just been.

Juno cleared his throat. “Well -” he began, voice strained. He winced at the sound, cleared his throat again and started over. “I know I joke a lot about wanting to die, but when it comes right down to it, the body just wants to survive, I guess.” He had a careful smile on his face.

This was Juno's attempt at lightening the mood, Nureyev knew that, but it was more than he could handle right now. He stumbled to his feet and was at the door before he could think about it.

But he couldn't leave without an explanation. “I… need some air,” he managed to get out, before walking across the threshold.

“Shit, goddammit. Nurey-” The door slid shut, muffling the rest of Juno's sentence.

\--

Juno stared after him, cursing himself.  _ Really fucked this one up, Steel _ . He should've thought through shaking a master thief out of a nightmare, but he just couldn't stand to see him like that. So he did what he knew how to do.

It just ended up being the worst thing he could have done, which fits with every other time he's tried to help someone.

After a few more minutes of this, Juno sighed and got up. He should find Peter, apologize. At least he had a hunch about where he went. Juno grabbed another jacket as he left, and trudged up the stairs.

_ EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY, ALARM WILL SOUND _ , the door warned, but Juno shoved it open anyway. The alarm’s been dead for years, and nobody's bothered to replace it. Juno would know, considering this is where he goes when he needs a break. Usually in the exact center where he doesn't have to think about the height, but still.

Juno stepped onto the roof and found who he was looking for. He was sitting on the ledge, staring up at the foggy outline of Phobos. Neither Deimos nor the stars were visible through the done. As he got closer, Juno noticed he was shivering, sitting in only pajama pants. He was suddenly very glad he thought to grab another jacket.

Juno moved to sit next to Peter, but ended up simply staring out over the edge. Juno backed up until his stomach stopped doing backflips, and sat about three feet behind him and a bit to the right. “Um,” he said, radiating awkwardness, “Nureyev -”

“It's glass,” the other replied.

“I… What?” Juno felt like he was three steps behind. “What's glass?”

“My name,” the thief said, finally turning to look at him, “is Rex Glass.” As he said it, he sat up straighter, and while he wasn't wearing a flirtatious smile, the rest of his demeanor aligned perfectly with the alias Juno first met. 

A memory shoved itself to the forefront of Juno's mind, still fresh even with all the time that's passed. Standing together in an utterly empty space. “Hmm, Nur-ey-ev? No, I don't think I recall that name. I move between monikers so quickly, it's difficult to remember them all.” Waking up to find himself trapped underground. Again.

But this was different, this was real. Juno could play along. “...Right. Glass, I brought this for you.”

Nureyev - Glass - seemed to relax a bit at the name, and smiled at the offered jacket. He took it, shrugged it on, zipped it over his bare chest. Then the smile faltered. He looked back toward the city. “Listen, detective, you must understand - I spent basically my entire life by myself. I reacted entirely on instinct.”

“No, no I get it. Just because something works for -”  _ Benten, _ his mouth wants to say, but even he's not stupid enough to bring that up right now, “- some people, doesn't mean it works for everyone. I did the only thing I thought of to do.” He shrugs. “You were having a nightmare.”

“Yeah,” the other breathed, “and it didn't stop after I woke up.”

Juno didn't know what to make of that, didn't know whether he should feel hurt, offended, or what. Glass continued, “Believe me, Juno, hurting you is the last thing I want. To come to my senses and realize I was choking you…”

“And I threw you across the room. I think we're even,” Juno replied in as light a tone as he could manage.

“No, you don't…” Glass was shaking, now, although it might have been from the cold. And there was wetness on his cheeks, but it might have been from the whipping wind attacking his eyes. Juno doubted he would be so lucky, however.

Still, he hated seeing his thief like this, and it was that more than anything that had him reaching out, scooting forward as much as he dared. “Rex, come here,” Juno said, trying to sound as open and comforting as possible. He did not touch him, afraid that even the smallest push would send Rex flying over the edge - and, great, now he was thinking about the thief falling, and the inevitable splat at the end, and he couldn't help his voice breaking in fear when he added, “ _ Please _ .”

Rex turned back again to look at him fully. There were definitely tears streaming down his cheeks, reflecting the neon like oversaturated rainbows over his shattered mask of a face. He grabbed the offered hand and pulled himself over so quickly he collided into Juno hard enough to force the wind from his lungs. Here, in the safety of Juno's chest, the thief began to sob in earnest.

Comfort was never Juno's strong suit. He started out with awkward back-pats that quickly transitioned into simply holding him close. After a few moments, he found himself repeating near-meaningless phrases ( _ it's okay, you're okay, we're here, we're okay _ ) in an effort to calm him. All at once, Juno is hit with the realization that this is how he and Benten would calm each other down after nightmares.

He's pulled out of his thoughts by Peter's broken laughter. “Dammit,” he mumbled near Juno's ear, “Rex Glass would never cry like this.”

“It's alright,” Juno returned, “you don't have to be anyone other than Peter Nureyev, for me.”

Peter pulled back enough to show him the smile splitting his face, and to press their foreheads together. However, the moment only lasted a couple of seconds before a shiver wracked Peter's body.

“How about we go back inside?” Juno suggested. “I've got a shitty bed, some blankets, and also me.”

“I'd love that.”

\--

They made their way back inside without much issue, with Peter pressed up against Juno at every possible opportunity. He really should've grabbed a coat or something before going outside in the middle of Martian winter, but he had felt so detached from everything that it simply had not crossed his mind. Juno's jacket wasn't helping that much, but that was probably because he had already sacrificed his body heat to the cold night air.

Once they were back inside, they changed into sweatshirts, Peter grabbing one that read “I Survived the Martian Desert and All I Got Was This Sweatshirt” ( _ definitely _ a gift from Rita), and Juno donning one that read “Hyperion City Police Academy, class of 4637”. At Peter's questioning look, he just mumbled, “It's nice and warm, okay?” before climbing back into bed. 

Peter settled after, back pressed against Juno's chest, instantly feeling safe in the arms that wrapped around him.

Just before Peter could drift back off to sleep, Juno mumbled, “So, do you want to talk about it? ...The nightmare, I mean.”

Peter sighed. His first inclination is to keep it a secret, like he keeps everything else a secret. But he's never had someone he could trust like this, not since… well. Not since he was a teenager. Maybe people are right and talking about this thing would help.

“It was…” He laid his hand over the one on his chest and intertwined their fingers. “It was… what you saw in the tomb.”

“Oh.” Juno's voice was quiet, the most quiet Peter had ever heard him.

“Yeah. But then it went weird, as dreams do.” Now it was time to face the music. “Juno… Peter Nureyev doesn't exactly have a track record for doing good, especially for the people around him. More often than not, people get caught up in his current and destroyed.”

“...What are you saying?”

”I… There was only one person who has ever loved me unconditionally, Juno, and I killed him. I…” His voice broke and he tried valiantly to not cry twice that night. “No,” he said, adding another layer of steel to his voice, “I'm over it, I should be  _ over it _ , this was so long ago. So why aren't I over it?” Despite his best efforts, Peter could feel tears on his cheeks again.

Juno tightened his arms around Peter, buried his face into the back of his neck. When he spoke, it was half-mumbled into Peter's skin. It would have been indistinct had it not been directly under Peter's ear. “Listen, I… also remember the first person I killed. Or got killed because of me. And everyone after. And it… sucks.” Peter huffed a breathy laugh at the understatement. “Hey, I never said I was good at this. But... sometimes, even when you know you've done the right thing, you just wish something better could have happened. And you had to make an impossible choice, then. One no one should have to make, much less a kid. ...For what it's worth, I believe what you did was the right thing.

“Maybe you won't ever truly be over it. I'm certainly not over any of my shit. But you've either gotta remind yourself you did the right thing in an impossible situation, or… drown your sorrows in whiskey.”

Peter barked out a real laugh at that, scrubbed at his eyes and rolled over to look at Juno. “You're a terrible therapist, love.”

“Yeah, well, like I said, 'm not good at this.” He moved forward to lean his head against Peter's. “And as for the other thing, well,” he yawned, “you're jus’ as likely t’ be burned or killed bein’ with me as I am bein’ with you. Least I can do is return the favor.”

Peter wanted to argue that he was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, which is more than you can say for Juno, but said detective was already out. He smiled and decided to follow, feeling better about his chances of getting a good night's rest.

**Author's Note:**

> in case it isnt clear enough, peter became rex in order to distance himself from his dream. i like thinking about people having unusual coping methods
> 
> podcast blog is [@zestycheck](https://zestycheck.tumblr.com), feel free to follow


End file.
